He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
