it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
