Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
