I hate all girls vehemently.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
