They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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