I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
