i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
