When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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