5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
