I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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