shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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