And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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