Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
