The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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