Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
