my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
