someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
