Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
