Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
