Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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