i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
