no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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