Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
