Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
