It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize