The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
