Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
