it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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