apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
