I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
