2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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