so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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