yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize