I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
