If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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