I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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