We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
