Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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