am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
