Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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