I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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