Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
