There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
