giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize