he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
