bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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