oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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