the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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