I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
