If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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