Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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