Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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