Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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