So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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