i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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