I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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