I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
