Soap is not a condiment
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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