I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
