P.S. I can't hear my feet
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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