Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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