Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
