Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
