It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
