did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
