All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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