Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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