East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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