Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
